To be young

Today was one of those really slow days where you feel like you have accomplished absolutely nothing but at the same time you have no desire to do anything. I guess what you can call a typical Sunday. Rob went to Church for the better part of the morning. I thought I was doing good-I got up around 8:30, fed Charlie, ate a healthy breakfast of two over easy eggs and toast, took a shower, and to my surprise had gotten all of this done by 10:30 am! I'm either just getting out of bed or still asleep around this time due to my insomnia keeping me up until late hours of the night..er morning I guess. 

However, as soon as I got out of the shower I laid down in my bed to let my hair dry a bit longer. The next thing I know I am fast asleep and I woke up around 1:00 pm because Rob was calling me to tell me he was on his way home! I did feel a lot like a failure. I was going to work on homework or get things done, possible find a car to go look out, maybe go to the local festival. But no. I was just so tired. Im guessing because I went to bed around 3 am and got up just 5 hours later. 

For the rest of the evening I had no motivation to do homework and really just wanted to enjoy doing nothing with the presence of Rob. But we did get really really bored so we decided to rearrange our bedroom. Which was kinda fun. I'm still getting used to the layout though, it might have to grown on me for a bit.

I kept thinking to myself throughout the day of how much I just wanted to be a kid again. To just run outside and play in sprinklers, play with friends, make up ridiculous games, get excited about the weekend, and walk into my newly spruced up room and get that really happy excited feeling you know? I used to get it when I was younger after my mom and I would spend an afternoon cleaning and reorganizing my room. The feeling like "Yes this is my space and Its just the way I like it, its perfect, its mine. Life is good."

But Its too often now that so many good things get pushed back because of everything else getting in the way. As much as i am happy about the new fresh look, there are still so many adult problems in my life that probably will never go away. Children don't realize how amazing it is to be care free and have an incredible imagination because It all goes away. We don't even get half of our lifetime to enjoy it. Just a mere 10-13 years. I just kept wishing for an ounce of wonderment. Just a little spark to let me know i'm still a curious and free person. But I guess we don't get to have those luxuries anymore. And yet when we are young all we wish for is independence, responsibility, and to be an adult. We have no idea at the time just how stupid of a wish that is. Because I wish I could be a kid forever. Take me Peter Pan!! On a lighter note, this is my handsome boy Charlie.