Catching Up

Hello everyone out there in blog land that actually reads this blog!

I have been gone for a couple months now because my life kind of got really busy, really fast.

Last month I was able to go to Florida and visit with my parents and sister
for about 3-4 weeks. My brother and boyfriend were with me in the
beginning of the trip for about five days and then they had to go back
home and go back to work. So I stayed a little longer to catch up with
my family and I really needed that little break from my life to come
back to sanity a little bit.

I feel so thankful for everything that has happened in the last year.
Every challenge I have had to face head on definitely has brought me into a
good place today. I am a firm believer in a lot of bad things happening and then finally, at the end of that upward battle, there is a long awaited moment of
peace and happiness. I feel that is just how life works. That bad things we go through happen so we can grow as a person and realize that we are strong and can get through a lot of shitty things and come out on top.

Right now I am in a very good place.

It feels very odd and foreign for me to be able to say that I am content.

And maybe that's the way it is with other people who have depression,
anxiety, or other mental illnesses. Its very rare that I feel in control
in my life. 

Its not like all my problems have disappeared over night because they haven't.

I still have things that need to get done but right now, everything is okay.

I look back at the last year of my life and it was absolute chaos. I felt
like I was drowning in my own self-pity and lack of self-worth. I had almost zero confidence in myself of what I was doing. The guilt that I felt was overwhelming and it really brought me down and I know that it brought Rob down with me at times. 

Now that the dust has settled, I can see just how strong Rob and I are and how strong we are as a couple. I don't think there's a lot of young people today in relationships that can go through what we have and come out even more in love that before we started.

I am so thankful to have a partner that is so patient with me and my struggles.

He would do anything for me and I honestly don't know why I deserve someone so special in my life. But I also realized that I wasn't giving myself enough credit because Rob is the person he is today because of me always encouraging him and pushing him to find his true potential.

We both continue to grow with each other every day and I am so happy that we are able to just mesh together the way we do.

I owe a lot of my new happiness to his strength in me.

Tomorrow I may not feel as happy or content like I do today but I am happy to have had at least one day that made me feel this.

Its a really special gift that I don't take for granted.

School is starting tomorrow and I know that it will cause me stress and anxiety but I will get through it. And I will continue to choose to work on being happy than to sit and dwell about everything that is bad in my life.